A-Lin《忘記擁抱 Forget Love》 Official Music Video HD -電影『234說愛你』主題曲

This would be the last time.

From your letter:

You always use NS duities as your excuse.

You apologise but you never changed. You said you would give
me the badges but you never did. You said you wanted to do those things but you
never did. You never use your actions to prove your point, its always just
words.

I understand that you go through tough and stressful times
but just because of that you drop our relationship and everything and flee. You
took so long to realise, so long to wake up your idea.. this would also
translate to marriage. If we were married and you meet such crisis are you
going to irresponsibly abandon the family and disappear? Then take your time to
think and as you like and wish come back to the family and seek forgiveness for
not performing your role as a father and husband? That is exactly what you are
doing… 5 freaking years. I am definitely not going to have that happen to my
marriage and family and have my kids suffer just because of an irresponsible
man.5 years and you never looked back, never contact. You said you wanted but
the more frustrating thing is your NEVER DID. You waited until you are less
fearful, more courageous and selfishly disregarded my feelings, have you
considered what was life for me after we broke up? You said you were
disappointed that I moved on when you decide to come back. I acknowledge that
you are disappointed but do you really expect me to wait for you after what you
have done to me? I did so much for you and us over the year in 2010. I realise
that I still want to work it out between us but not only did you not give any
accountability but you kept rejecting and refuse to communicate. Trying to
challenging my faith for us with that attitude for more than a year.. don’t you
think its too much to ask for? Clearly you didn’t cherish me and our relationship.
You clearly know when we met at Orchard end 2010 I still hope you will change
but you didn’t even give any chance to talk or even quarrel. Do you think I
would have confidence in having you as a lifetime partner to stay with me
through good and bad times? Would you support me in whatever I need in life?
Would you not abandon me and make me feel alone in this relationship? For the
times when we were together I felt like I was fighting a losing battle alone
for both of us. I cannot describe how terrible that feels and how I feel Im
even slowly losing myself because of you. I know, but I kept going until I had
to confide in my friends whom I cannot hide my feelings with. They advised me
logically and made me see the big picture.

And you said you wanted to come back mid 2011 but again said
it’s a good thing I am not with you because you are going through a tough time
in school or a lot of challenges in other aspects. You are forever clouded by
the numerous ‘challenges’ in your life which its more important than our
relationship. You are always using them as the excuse for your absence or no
action. Since it is this way, in future it will always be like this. You will
always love yourself more than anybody. Your ‘challenges’ will forever
supersede the relationships for you to commit in them.

It is so disappointing to know that actually true enough all
these while in the relationship you never knew what’s going on in my life. You
only started reading my blog and fb when you DECIDE to miss me in Oct 2015?
Then my question is: so who are you to me? If you love/ loved me, why would
these not interest you? Why are my feelings not of your concern? The fact that
I did so many things when you were in NS, if you think deeply is because I had
too much free time which means you have not been spending time with me and also
I intentionally committed myself in so many things so that I can forget the
fact that my bf is not doing what he should be doing. So that I can continue to
deceive myself and help you to come up with excuses for not spending time and
committing in the relationship. So that I would not feel lonely in the
relationship. So that I do not have this sick feeling of always waiting around
for you like a dawg. Truthfully occasionally I still go to your blog and fb to
know how you are doing but I know those do not show anything much.

You mentioned reception is bad in BMT, perhaps. But I also
know I have OCS friends who didn’t have bad reception all the time and they
were still able to communicate to outside.

Lastly… you once sms me in 2010 saying that you will never
get into another relationship because you are not suitable to be in one, yet
you did. It is not that I am stopping you from your happiness but do not say
and promise things you cannot hold to.