when stress kicks in, i can be anything. how can anyone control ur emotions when there's only 9 days to A's?
i was being terribly mean just now. i shouldnt hav done that, i regret it. i was out studying late and Dad called out of concern to ask me whether i'll be home. For some reason that really irritated me. I took a deep breath to contain myself but in that spur moment, i just blurted it out. I told him that there wasnt a need for him to keep calling to check on me. He gave me a short reply and hung up. I could sense the disappointing tone that speaks, 'i called out of concern yet this is what i get.' i felt really bad plus it makes things worse when i couldnt concentrated to get in my Econs facts into my brain. and some inconsiderate person was blasting their noise to annoy me even further. Its really noise, not even music. It sounded like some opra chant that i couldnt help but suspect what if im the only one that heard that, like its meant just for me. brrrr...
i felt so sorry and decided to head home. His room was dark and Dad's already asleep. i bet he is upset about it and he chose to use sleep to forget everything. i couldnt see his expression, to tell whether he is mad at me. He offered me his warmth yet i pushed it away...
ive always taken things for granted, my parents' love. Parents always embrace their children and forgive them for all their mistakes whether they were hurt them or otherwise. we dont see that. they give unconditionally and we just take them. they dont ask for anything, just when they're lonely, talk to them. Love them with all that you should be and could be. That i think would be their greatest joy and contentment. and of course which parent isnt proud of their child when they bring home their achievement that shows their capabilities. my shoulders lie a burden- the need to do well.
i think all this time ive been looking out for my own welfare. my needs for money to play and enjoy. of course they wont reject me, in fact whenever mum gives me more allowance, i felt guilty. she would want me to enjoy myself to the fullest and have a subsistent meal but i know i shldnt use too much of her money now. i need to plan my own finances and she has to plan her retirement too. okk this sounds so old.
and im so sorry to pangseh JX so many times to reject studying with her. i know its tiring to keep asking someone the same qn when u expect that the ans will most likely be the same and its not what u wish for. the reality is that i must have no distractions and focus on my own. so i have to compromise with accompanying her. but dont worry i will make it up. we can go crazy shoppings and outings after A's. we will get the time of our lives and treat ourselves like king! i cant wait for that but for now time is really tight and i must give it my best shot.
i was being terribly mean just now. i shouldnt hav done that, i regret it. i was out studying late and Dad called out of concern to ask me whether i'll be home. For some reason that really irritated me. I took a deep breath to contain myself but in that spur moment, i just blurted it out. I told him that there wasnt a need for him to keep calling to check on me. He gave me a short reply and hung up. I could sense the disappointing tone that speaks, 'i called out of concern yet this is what i get.' i felt really bad plus it makes things worse when i couldnt concentrated to get in my Econs facts into my brain. and some inconsiderate person was blasting their noise to annoy me even further. Its really noise, not even music. It sounded like some opra chant that i couldnt help but suspect what if im the only one that heard that, like its meant just for me. brrrr...
i felt so sorry and decided to head home. His room was dark and Dad's already asleep. i bet he is upset about it and he chose to use sleep to forget everything. i couldnt see his expression, to tell whether he is mad at me. He offered me his warmth yet i pushed it away...
ive always taken things for granted, my parents' love. Parents always embrace their children and forgive them for all their mistakes whether they were hurt them or otherwise. we dont see that. they give unconditionally and we just take them. they dont ask for anything, just when they're lonely, talk to them. Love them with all that you should be and could be. That i think would be their greatest joy and contentment. and of course which parent isnt proud of their child when they bring home their achievement that shows their capabilities. my shoulders lie a burden- the need to do well.
i think all this time ive been looking out for my own welfare. my needs for money to play and enjoy. of course they wont reject me, in fact whenever mum gives me more allowance, i felt guilty. she would want me to enjoy myself to the fullest and have a subsistent meal but i know i shldnt use too much of her money now. i need to plan my own finances and she has to plan her retirement too. okk this sounds so old.
and im so sorry to pangseh JX so many times to reject studying with her. i know its tiring to keep asking someone the same qn when u expect that the ans will most likely be the same and its not what u wish for. the reality is that i must have no distractions and focus on my own. so i have to compromise with accompanying her. but dont worry i will make it up. we can go crazy shoppings and outings after A's. we will get the time of our lives and treat ourselves like king! i cant wait for that but for now time is really tight and i must give it my best shot.
Comments