so where do i start from. how bad can a day get to be as fucked up as mine.
i didnt get to choose, it began right from the moment i woke up.
one.
Mommy woke me up and smth bad happened to her. im the last to know and still in the state of shock. She didnt wanna wake me up earlier and told me that i wldnt be of much help even if i did. Do you know how guilty i felt, not that i wldnt be of much help but i know she wanted me to sleep more. For that, i was not given any chance to help in any way and it hurts.
two.
Immediately after the morning commotion which i have missed most of it, i realised i've lost smth important. To make it worse, i have no idea when and where ive lost it. i rummaged everywhere but to no avail. ive sms-ed ppl to help me keep a lookout but i doubt i can recover it. This has been my worry but i never expect it to happen.
three.
Ive already told Mom its a bad omen and it came true. Of all things that i didnt want to happen it did. Ive screwed up smth i must not screw up. Its not just screwed up, its SCREWED INSIDE OUT. Its TWO pages long. I must have made a name for myself in the office for breaking the guiness record. When i went to the counter, the guy told me he has been waiting for me. I looked at him and had this urge to dig out his balls, eyeballs. I never felt so mocked at before.
Seriously, im a champion at digging my own grave.
In the midst of all these rush of emotions, Jo msged. Somehow im always found by her whenever i needed it. Always. Then i saw the msges sent by colleagues and ah pia. Again, it came up. I hate this feeling, if you know what i mean.
As if things are not bad enough, after talking to Jo i got to immediately read up the stack of stuff to do my rush hour later. Ive got to snapped out of this sucky mood and get back on track to fulfill my responsibilities just like the snap of fingers. Seriously, this is abit too much for me to take and i broke down while reading them. Even at this point, im multi-tasking. I dont know why i felt so sad, maybe i expected much more of myself. Disappointed, that goes without saying. Mom called, i didnt know what to say and hung up shortly.
four.
im just not myself today. i almost walked into the gents, thinking that the Indian guy that came out was a female. i didnt realise until he told me. How embarrassing.
five.
ive been busy and starving the whole day and i finally got my proper meal at 6pm but i barely had appetite. Talked to JoPoon and Honey and i relieved some by complaining to them. pia msged and i didnt know how to explain but i did a fair share of ranting. The briefing lasted abt two hrs, eating into my precious time. Time is money and what ive planned for the night was screwed as well. What i needed to complete is being pushed back to another day. Great.
six.
i thought the day has ended but it didnt. i boarded the bus but alighted at the wrong stop. i would have been home by 930pm but ive got to wait for another 20 min or so for another one. i really felt like cursing and swearing and screaming my lungs out at that point of time. i suddenly felt so alone in the night. i wanted your comfort but you are not around. i wanted to call/msg but i know i cant reach you. What can i do? Emo?
One by one all these stupid shit is wearing me out. i barely smiled today.
i didnt get to choose, it began right from the moment i woke up.
one.
Mommy woke me up and smth bad happened to her. im the last to know and still in the state of shock. She didnt wanna wake me up earlier and told me that i wldnt be of much help even if i did. Do you know how guilty i felt, not that i wldnt be of much help but i know she wanted me to sleep more. For that, i was not given any chance to help in any way and it hurts.
two.
Immediately after the morning commotion which i have missed most of it, i realised i've lost smth important. To make it worse, i have no idea when and where ive lost it. i rummaged everywhere but to no avail. ive sms-ed ppl to help me keep a lookout but i doubt i can recover it. This has been my worry but i never expect it to happen.
three.
Ive already told Mom its a bad omen and it came true. Of all things that i didnt want to happen it did. Ive screwed up smth i must not screw up. Its not just screwed up, its SCREWED INSIDE OUT. Its TWO pages long. I must have made a name for myself in the office for breaking the guiness record. When i went to the counter, the guy told me he has been waiting for me. I looked at him and had this urge to dig out his balls, eyeballs. I never felt so mocked at before.
Seriously, im a champion at digging my own grave.
In the midst of all these rush of emotions, Jo msged. Somehow im always found by her whenever i needed it. Always. Then i saw the msges sent by colleagues and ah pia. Again, it came up. I hate this feeling, if you know what i mean.
As if things are not bad enough, after talking to Jo i got to immediately read up the stack of stuff to do my rush hour later. Ive got to snapped out of this sucky mood and get back on track to fulfill my responsibilities just like the snap of fingers. Seriously, this is abit too much for me to take and i broke down while reading them. Even at this point, im multi-tasking. I dont know why i felt so sad, maybe i expected much more of myself. Disappointed, that goes without saying. Mom called, i didnt know what to say and hung up shortly.
four.
im just not myself today. i almost walked into the gents, thinking that the Indian guy that came out was a female. i didnt realise until he told me. How embarrassing.
five.
ive been busy and starving the whole day and i finally got my proper meal at 6pm but i barely had appetite. Talked to JoPoon and Honey and i relieved some by complaining to them. pia msged and i didnt know how to explain but i did a fair share of ranting. The briefing lasted abt two hrs, eating into my precious time. Time is money and what ive planned for the night was screwed as well. What i needed to complete is being pushed back to another day. Great.
six.
i thought the day has ended but it didnt. i boarded the bus but alighted at the wrong stop. i would have been home by 930pm but ive got to wait for another 20 min or so for another one. i really felt like cursing and swearing and screaming my lungs out at that point of time. i suddenly felt so alone in the night. i wanted your comfort but you are not around. i wanted to call/msg but i know i cant reach you. What can i do? Emo?
One by one all these stupid shit is wearing me out. i barely smiled today.
Comments